Big Girl and the Exercise Ball of Doom

(Actual Footage of my morning exercise routine)

So, I tried to murder my exercise ball today while it was asleep:

Image

(It never would have seen it coming)

Don’t judge me! First of all, I did not actually go through with my murderous scheme. That has got to count for something. Secondly, She (yes, I’ve decided it’s a mean girl impersonating a purple ball), started it.

It all began innocently enough. I decided to add some more ab workouts to my strength training and wanted to try exercise balls. I mean, everyone’s always going on and on about how great they are. Plus, the people in the ads for them look really fit and happy, so they must work, right?

The first few exercises were clear cut and pretty simple. For example:

Ball Crunch - Legs Elevated

Ball Reverse Crunch

Simple, right? Even I can do this, I thought. But, then it got a wee bit more complex:

Ball Jacknife

Ball Bridge T Fall-Off

What had begun as a fun, easy workout, soon turned into a frantic wrestling match for my life (and perhaps even my soul!) with a tiny, purple ball.

Spoiler alert: I lost.

In all seriousness, while at times mystifying, I genuinely appreciated my time with the exercise ball. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being a Big Girl trying to lose weight, it’s that you have to take things slowly.

There are many things I couldn’t do when I first started (e.g. a single pushup!) But, with daily work and persistence, I’ve improved in a lot of areas and even accomplished things I’d never imagined I could (e.g. two whole pushups!).

Part of the purpose of my self-deprecating humor–besides the fact that I have a lot to self-deprecate about–is that it’s a fun way of keeping track of all things I was horrible at when I started. That way, a few months from now, when I’m weight lifting with my new fiance, Shemar Moore, I can look back and appreciate my progress.

Until then, I’m just attempting not to kill myself (or an exercise ball).

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